I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
