thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
