I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
