Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
