You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
