i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
