Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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