Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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