Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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