i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize