i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
