U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
