found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
