you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
