Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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