he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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