what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
