Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
