oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
