the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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