I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
