i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
