I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
