the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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