I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
