No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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