i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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