brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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