i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
