So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
