I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
