If i come over, it means nothing
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize