There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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