we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
