I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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