Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize