I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize