I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
