I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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