What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
