Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
