You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
