Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Me too!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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