1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
