there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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