Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize