turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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