You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
