her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no you cant smoke seaweed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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