Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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