Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
