Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just gift wrapped bread.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
try to milk me bitch
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize