OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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