Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
