I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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