dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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