Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize