he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize